feel don't think

It’s Jan 2021. For many that means deciding what changes need to be made. This could be as simple as you don’t have that snack before bed. Whatever it is, it’s a change. Change is hard. That is why I practice this 5 step system

I use it at least twice a day, it really is the magic key that is getting me to stop habits that hold me back from goals I want to reach.

BRE’s 5 Step System to stop bad habits

1. Stop – literally do nothing else sit upright and put down all distractions (no phone, scrolling, writing, typing, wandering)
2. Breathe– breathe in and out slowly through your nose. Do 4 counts in, hold for 7 counts and out for 8 slow counts.
3. Feel. Name what you are feeling – get specific.. not just “anxiety”  maybe it’s “overwhelm, fear, panic, embarrasment
4. STAY with that feeling for 90 seconds. Do the best you can – even 20 seconds can be a big deal CLICK HERE for Science on WHY 90 seconds
5. Move your body lightly– just for a few seconds, shake out your legs, move your arms. Time to stay out of your head and in your body. Remember your head is where that pesky thought is hanging out.

Then make the next best possible step. This may mean, go to bed. Get out of the kitchen, go on a walk, get back to work.

I’ve put an example below with further explanation on why you must FEEL ( not think or take action) to stop bad habits.

As humans we want to stay in the comfort zone.  But the comfort zone is where we do worse. We get  sad, fat, frustrated and create more struggles for ourselves.

Consider this familiar comfort zone habit.  You are stuck in a routine of a cookie before bed. Is it really that big a deal?

I’d love to say no, but that’s a lie. A cookie 3 nights a week (even a Gluten Free, Dairy Free made with date sugar cookie) will cause you to sleep worse. By the time you wake up (6-8 hours later)Your body will be struggling on every level (lower immune system, your brain and muscles will not fire as well, you will be more hungry and crave more sugar)

So what do you do? There’s got to be a killer workout or super healthy green juice you can down. Those things might help, but they are a band aid, and you will simply be wasting your time, money and energy.

The #1 fix to stop your bad health habit is simple:  Allow yourself to Feel. You must feel  what is under your thought.

You can roll your eyes and sigh in frustration all you want.  There is no way around this simple tool. Try all the shortcuts – brush your teeth, go to bed early, do 5 push ups, get fresh air, drink tea. But this habit will return until you simply sit and feel and let that feeling pass through you.

Your feeling is in the driver’s seat, your brain and body are simply reacting.

So if you feel stressed, your body will respond with racing thoughts and a surge of cortisol, this will cause you to eat the cookie when you watch the evening news.  What if you don’t watch the evening news, you’re not stressed and you still want the cookie?  This is a pattern you have formed, a blueprint.

You have had the cookie enough times at the end of the day, that you have conditioned your body to feed it a cookie before bed.  And when you don’t eat the cookie, you get super uncomfortable.

The only way to get out of this pattern is to DO nothing but feel and breathe. You need to get you out of your head and into your body, light movement & fresh air help as well.What ever you do – do not distract yourself. Don’t pick up your phone, don’t check your email, don’t plan or make any lists. These distractions are keeping you in your bad habit loop. You must name the feeling so you can release it “Name it to tame it” 

It’s the magic key to stop that habit that’s holding you back. Once you identify what you are really feeling, your body will relax and your hormones will shift, your mind will ease up and your body will stop feeling in desperate need.

I wish I could tell you to do 5 squats or take an herbal supplement, but until you sit with that feeling, see it for what it really is- then it will unhook it’s grimy fingers from the drivers seat, so you can take back control.

We all have bad habits. We may not need to fix them unless they are holding us back from our goals. This is up to you to decide.

If you do- want to break a habit that is holding you back, follow my 5 step system. Do #1-5 in order anytime you the thought of your bad habit (scroll Facebook, drink wine, smoke, hit snooze, watch another NETFLIX episode..)

BRE’s 5 Step System to stop bad habits

1. Stop – literally do nothing else sit upright and put down all distractions (no phone, scrolling, writing, typing, wandering)
2. Breathe– breathe in and out slowly through your nose. Do 4 counts in, hold for 7 counts and out for 8 slow counts.
3. Name your Feeling – get specific.. not just “anxiety”  maybe it’s “overwhelm, fear, panic, embarrasment
4. STAY with that feeling for 90 seconds. Do the best you can – even 20 seconds can be a big deal CLICK HERE for Science on WHY 90 seconds will change you dramatically.
5. Move your body lightly– just for a few seconds, shake out your legs, move your arms. Time to stay out of your head and in your body. Remember your head is where that pesky thought is hanging out.

Then make the next best possible step. This may mean, go to bed. Get out of the kitchen, go on a walk, get back to work.

My references on this are

1. Dr. Joe Dispenza- Break the Habit of being yourself Click HERE for podcast
   
2. Peter Crone – mind architect (works with Pro Athletes) CLICK HERE for info + podcast
3. Dr. Joan Rosenthal – 90 second rule CLICK here for info + Podcast
4. Sally Lefko – How to stop limiting beliefs CLICK here for info and podcast

If you need help with this -contact me. I create personalized plans with people so they can keep moving forward to their goals.

Email me at brebrighter@gmail.com OR call/text me at 206-310-9079 for a FREE 15 min consult.